VeganMoFo Day 22 - Overwhelmed

I'm overwhelmed with a refrigerator full of leftovers and fruit, so I'm not cooking today.

I'm overwhelmed having my husband home all day, every day. At least he's starting to do things by himself, getting out of the house alone, giving me a few minutes of blissful peace.

I'm overwhelmed dealing with Explanation of Benefits from the insurance company and bills from doctors, labs, and hospitals, both my husband's and my own.

I'm overwhelmed at how darn hard it is to get lab results from blood work drawn back in July sent to my doctor's office.

I'm overwhelmed at the results of that lab work, showing not only did my cholesterol and triglycerides go up over the spring and early summer, but I now have a diagnosis of Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, a fairly rare autoimmune disorder. I just had even more lab work done, and after I see my primary care doc again in another week I'll have to bring all these lab tests with me to a rheumatologist and find out not only what my disease is but what to do about it. 

I'm overwhelmed doing my own research on this disease, on its effect on the body, and especially on the medications used to treat the symptoms (There's no cure). I'm overwhelmed finding out that the majority of my complaints for the past 30 years, the same complaints my PCP blamed on my weight, are actually the results of having this disease, even the rare heart condition I got in 2009. Everything I read about it says it appears when a woman is in her 20's to 30's, and here I am, suffering for 30 years and about to turn 60 in less than a month, and just being diagnosed now. It's one of the hazards of being fat - everything is blamed on weight! I 'm overwhelmed thinking of all the damage that has already been done to my body because of medical prejudice in treating fat patients.

One thing I'm sure of is that I do NOT want to be on things like prednisone and methotrexate for the rest of my life and want to look into dietary treatment, like Dr. McDougall and Dr. Fuhrman suggest but rheumatologists advise against.

We're taking today as a day to decompress, to do nothing except go grocery shopping, reading the Sunday papers, and watching crap on television. We're way behind in our bad movie viewing (SyFy Channel movies, Roger Corman horror movies, the Tremors series, etc.) so we'll do some catching up this afternoon. We may even take a nap, something we haven't had the time to do lately, with all the doctors, lab and lawyer appointments and hubby's rehab schedule. One thing I'm not going to do today is read any medical/dietary books, visit any research sites on the Internet, or, as stated above, cook. Today is a total drop out/turn off day for both of us. See you tomorrow!